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Wednesday, November 24, 2004
So the company made me go to this name fortune teller dude last night. A "name" fortune teller, hahaha, well, they jus basically tell from the strokes of your chinese name to see how it affects your life. Anyways, when i went there, this guy just gave me a whole outline of my life, but what he said about my life so far was wrong so then i really dont believe what he said my future will be like. he was lik, 52 could be a death age. WTF, i fuken hate fortune tellers man, they fuken scare you to shit. I was sooo angry man, anyways, whatevas. Going to hk this weekend and meeting mah mom there who i havent seen fro lik 2 months and cant wait til christmas. ok.. anyways, i jus needed to bitch bout the fortune telller, dont believe what they say.
Posted at 06:33 pm by linhE
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Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Currently listening to: "Negative Things" by Selwyn
Current mood: tired
The reason why i've persisted myself and dedicated all my time, into chasing one person, i do not know. The reason as to why i was determined to go out with this one person, was mainly because to heal his heartbreak, to guide and to give him that assurance. The reason as to why i fell head over heels, and infatuated myself with someone, who seems to be so distant yet so close, breaks my heart. Yet i'm still here. Still standing next to this person, holding him, securing him, giving him all that he needs. But to be on the other side of the boat, with much love tilting and sinking into the sea on one side, and the other side unaware, selfish, and naive just proves how far i'm willing to go and wait. I am still waiting..
Happy 1.2 anniversary BB..
Since BB is leaving for a month, i'm going to have to result to Chad Michael Murray in One Tree Hill to be my boyfriend, until he gets back. *sobs*
Posted at 10:56 pm by linhE
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Sunday, November 21, 2004
Wouldn't it be nice if the world was chocolate..
Currently listening to: "Slow Jams" by Twista feat. Jamie Foxx & Kanny
Current mood: hmm
Sometimes i imagine how life would be like without BB. And i realised, it'd be hard. Reason because, although this relationship maybe be a habit, there's still that emotion there. It's kinda a sad story though, to be in a relationship out of habit. But to compare ourselves with other relationships, its amazing that we lasted nearly a year and two months. I wouldn't expect it to have gone this far. With my paranoia, of insecurities, of him not liking me enough, him not noticing me enough just proves my little efforts to keep him and make him mine. How i truly feel about BB, hardly gets unleashed. But i enjoy spending every minute with him. My interest in many things have dissappeared, and has focused on him. Because i suppose he's my main interest atm. It's sad in a way, but i guess BB can be classified as a form of escapism to me. He takes everything around me good or bad, away, and just makes me live the moment. That's why i think "I'm fallen, head over heels, i'm fallen in love with you. I'm fallen, and i can't get up.. don't wanna getup, because of love. "
Posted at 02:00 pm by linhE
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Friday, November 19, 2004
Currently listening to: "Don't Dream its OVer" by Six pence none the richer
Current mood: feeling it
When i'm home alone, i tend to think a lot. At times like these, i wish i never existed. But i'll shut up, and i'll talk about my heart throb Chad Michael Murray. I told my boyfriend infront of his face, that Hilary Duff is so lucky to be kissing him, that i wish i was in her place. He's just so gorgeous. The gorgeous that makes you frigid, if you saw across the hallway. The gorgeous that, when he talks to you, you go all red. Oh man, i want to get on to Chad Michael Murray~! ahaha..
Posted at 01:24 pm by linhE
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Thursday, November 18, 2004
Currently listening to :"Affinity" by Hydra (or the other way around)
Current mood: nothing
Currently @ TAFE
So, my therapist told me to "Enjoy the void, that's where you find solitude is the best." Right now, i've been feeling a little.. nothing? I'm not my pedantic self, nor am i the analytical person i used to be. I've reached that point where, too much caring leads to nothing. A feeling of emptiness has overcome me, and made me see points of life in both ends, where i find very amusing yet frustrating at the same time, yet i don't seem to budge from my circle. So sitting here, contemplating about life or whether i should continue my work, gives me a minor anxiety attack(ok maybe less than minor). So what seems to be the cause of my little emotion? To be honest, relationships. I feel that i've reached that point. The point where you see both of you are so over it, but tend to put that little effort to be together. Don't get me wrong, but i guess its times like these, i wish i was single. Not the fact that i have that attachment, but i'm just so over the phase. The phase of caring over someone who doesn't seem to do the same, the phase where you put endless efforts to see that person, the phase where your feelings are considered weird (to put it in a nice way). Maybe i'm already broken, but its hidden under my cold, heartless face. So i'm a little upset atm, but i don't care cause right now.. i'm enjoying the void, because this is where i'm in my own circle, thinking about the things in life which should be prioritized (if that's a word lol), whcih seems to me atm nothing. sigh..
Posted at 12:04 pm by linhE
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Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Currently listening to: "Someday, Somehow" by Nickleback
Currnet mood: hmm...
The end of an era ended last night at 10:30pm on Channel 9. And i was so sad. To watch these four women transform and influence a population of girls/women captured me. To watch how we can all relate, and empathise and think, proves how so many of us are alike. After watching the tribute finale, its ironic how so many girls think of ourselves as Carrie Bradshaw. I remember, how my friends and i were arguing about whose who in the group, and i somehow resulted as Samantha Jones. Funny.. how i was a virgin then, and had no clue about sex. But that all changed. *big grins*. Although i can't be as open about sex like Samantha, i feel that behind closed doors i can be the opposing character of such charateristics like Charlotte York. Miranda Hobbs is my idol, because she's a successful intelligent, cynical, sarcastic bad mouthed BITCH. But somehow we all fell in love with Carrie and her Monolos *gasps* and her affair with Mr. Big, which i can so relate to. I guess, this is a sad case scenario but i admit, these four ladies opened my eyes to independence and makes me that modern age feminist. Experiencing their funny bits, at age 15 - i have yet to get the complete DVD collection, to which when i am 32 i can rewind and respect.
Posted at 03:40 pm by linhE
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